no easy way out
Oh what a day! I was up until 5am this morning working on my dissertation...I'm actually, finally, feeling like I'm making some real progress. Its about time!
I also worked today. This job is not easy, the material I'm given is so dry. I was surprised to see 2 of the head guys of the company at my office today, since they work in the other branch and don't come to mine often. It was actually ok seeing them. The HR guy wanted to talk about any complaints, etc. we had with the company, but I was caught off guard, and of course once asked couldn't muster any. He disturbed me in the middle of preparing my lesson anyway.
The other guy is head of learning-the one who is supposed to guide the teachers on how to do their jobs. He observed my class for a little bit today and I have to meet with him tomorrow to see what he says. Instead of being put off and anxious, I told him I was looking forward to it because I could use some pointers.
So it was good they were there because I do feel more comfortable with them now. They were also much more friendly and approachable than they have been in the past.
But class was gruelling tonight, and I think it wasn't just me but for my students also. Its so hard to explain some of the vocab words-like "fairly" hot, "actually", the list goes on. They don't like groupwork, roleplays, etc, but that's how they get practice. Its also hard because not only do they not understand me, but I don't understand them either! AAARG!
I would so much rather have a class of kids...to sing songs, be silly, play games...a group of grouchy adults who come from work and haven't eaten dinner are difficult to keep interested in a Business English class.
My mood tonight coming home was not good. Super-A was making dinner and greeted me with a kiss, so that was great!
I'm just so tired of uncertainty...even the one thing in life I am so sure of, the love I share with my sweety, feels unstable only because of the issues of nationality which are dictated by powers greater than ourselves. I hate that nationality is so divisive, so unrecognising of humanness. And the one most human "thing", romantic love, I thought I was immune from for so long hits me in a way that it affects every condition of my life in ways many people don't ever deal with.
I used to love a challenge. Now I despise them. I can't beat this one, I can't escape from it. If there were any way, I surely would. There is no easy way out.
I also worked today. This job is not easy, the material I'm given is so dry. I was surprised to see 2 of the head guys of the company at my office today, since they work in the other branch and don't come to mine often. It was actually ok seeing them. The HR guy wanted to talk about any complaints, etc. we had with the company, but I was caught off guard, and of course once asked couldn't muster any. He disturbed me in the middle of preparing my lesson anyway.
The other guy is head of learning-the one who is supposed to guide the teachers on how to do their jobs. He observed my class for a little bit today and I have to meet with him tomorrow to see what he says. Instead of being put off and anxious, I told him I was looking forward to it because I could use some pointers.
So it was good they were there because I do feel more comfortable with them now. They were also much more friendly and approachable than they have been in the past.
But class was gruelling tonight, and I think it wasn't just me but for my students also. Its so hard to explain some of the vocab words-like "fairly" hot, "actually", the list goes on. They don't like groupwork, roleplays, etc, but that's how they get practice. Its also hard because not only do they not understand me, but I don't understand them either! AAARG!
I would so much rather have a class of kids...to sing songs, be silly, play games...a group of grouchy adults who come from work and haven't eaten dinner are difficult to keep interested in a Business English class.
My mood tonight coming home was not good. Super-A was making dinner and greeted me with a kiss, so that was great!
I'm just so tired of uncertainty...even the one thing in life I am so sure of, the love I share with my sweety, feels unstable only because of the issues of nationality which are dictated by powers greater than ourselves. I hate that nationality is so divisive, so unrecognising of humanness. And the one most human "thing", romantic love, I thought I was immune from for so long hits me in a way that it affects every condition of my life in ways many people don't ever deal with.
posted by Super Z @ 2:36 AM
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